edinburgh

alive!

wow

poor, so very poor.....

how many planes?

lora in ireland fails about writing about ireland.

leaving in 6 days.
wow.

london. amsterdam. madrid. barcelona. lisbon. milan. pisa. zadar. vienna. prague. gdansk. krakow. stolkholm. edinburgh.

i'm bound to die somewhere.

the little princess got everything she wanted.

and it was only 3316.28 km away.

shredin'

So I have moved.

Not far. From the glamourous life of 530 euros a month for a beautiful apartment that makes you feel like you are entering a world of riches everytime you put the key into the electric lock. I have moved to the life of Brett and Jermaine where your key not-so-willingly opens your door above an electronic shop, into the amiss of cheap-ass rent and incense.

love it.

 i've given up on the dream of riches in dublin and gotten myself a library card, learning slowly how to live off minimal money, and enjoy tescovalue products. though GOOD NEWS has stricken - all those "gst" and "tax returns" that i thought the goverment just didnt like me enough to give, have been going to misaleneous TD account opened in the year 2002. So when I figure out WHAT the fuck this account is, days in spain and greece will soon be my life.

pretty sweet.

there's another story around the corner.

crashed out.

oh what a life it would be, to party every night, stay up until the morning birds sing you to sleep, and never work a day.

unfortunately, fun means money. no way around it.

aaahhhh. stupid economy! stop sucking plz!

i make no sense.

so, as liam pointed out the other night, being in a new place really expands your emotions. you're not just "sad" or "happy" - it's an extremity of one. when you're lonely and sad, you're REALLY lonely and sad. and when you're having a good time - you're having a REALLY good time.


right now i just feel tired.
i found an amazing boy, who's gone to the other side of the country continent.
i found an amazing job, that i feel bad for getting.
i found an amazing apartment, that i can't really afford.

 i'm really glad i did this for myself, i already feel like i've grown so much just from the first day i got here, where i hid on msn. but it all just kind of feels like a fantasy i'm living in sometimes. can i travel around the whole continent? can i make this much money? can i be happy? can i feel so at home, that i don't miss home?

i need a cat, 0r 4.

musique

so... hungover... cramps...

berlin night clubs are definitely something else. i've never just been able to dance like that before, the music was flowing right through me...

Berlin recap... Got here on Wedesday, night after St. Paddy's day.. Jet lagged + Hangover = sleep until Thursday. Thursday I uh.... damn, I've already forgotten. I should update this more often.
Fridayy... Oh, we invite Australian boy (Luke) over and he brings Turkish goods. Thing's get a little weird.

Come Saturday... Market! Market's are tres busy. Got yummy goods, led to baked delicious Lasagna goodness, had Larissa over (super fun and where I want to be when I'm 27)... went to go see Luke play! People smoke in bars everywhere. Berlin is fun at night.

Sunday morning.. awkaen.. surprisgningly.. go see the coolest market ever! Followed by yummy brunch. The rest of my day appears to be a blur.

I know on Monday I went to the zoo, which was fun, but mildly depressing. I played games with a polar bear, and took sympathy on the monkeys... Tuesday, being yesterday, we went to the "East Side Gallery" and explored more amazing Berlin graffiti afterwards, had amazing chai tea latte. Did a bit of funky shopping, got me nails did.

Today we ventured to "Alexander Platz" and took the TV tower, it's the CN tower but looking over Berlin to put it briefly. Nice view though! Then checked out the Holacaust memorial (depressing, but interesting) and some neat shops along the way. Tonight I believe we're going to Larissa's to prime for "Watergate" (a bar that doesn' open until 12.... bad news). Hopefully I will awake tomorow for my last day in Berlin, seriously debating hitting up legoland, or the DDR museum... we'll see.

I'm looking forward to my return to Ireland, but I will miss the cheapness of Berlin deeply. Looking forward to seeing certain bearded creatues though ; )

oops

hahahaha.

i have a serious case of "beard burn"


it could be fatal.

Updatessss?

I found an apartment to live in at the end of the month!
I avoided moving in with a random irishman!
I am taking the room of a cute Canadian boy.
I got drunk on St. Paddy's day in the heart of Dublin.
I have a weird thing going on in my chin.
I'm in Berlin!
I'm happy I'm not staying in a hostel anymore.

Yeah... I'm lazy and tired.

I am the most fickle person I know.

Blah Blah Blah I'm so lonely I wish I had a boyfriend.....
Oh wait, I push everyone away that tries to get in.

I have a cold.
Gay.
I actually can't wait to go to Berlin.

I have numbers on my irish phone!

Jeez, I likes to blog!

After 14 hours of sleeping I woke up feeling better overall, minus this weird cough thing I've got going on.. However I travelled all the way to "Sandyford" to see this beautiful apartment, owned by a beautiful south african! We got on really well, she was just concerned about not finding a job and having to leave (oh yeah, the immigration guy lol'd at me when i told him i came here to work) but I guess we'll see, sure would like a place to live.

After that I took the Luas back into town to do some "Therapeutic" shopping (I don't really know why they call it that - spending money just stresses me out) Walked and Walked down all the lovely streets (I'd post pictures but I'm apparently really smart and forgot the USB cord to sync my camera..) Anyways, after litteraly losing the bottoms of my shoes, I decided going back to the hostel was a good call, unfortunately I had walked to the opposite end of town. But a lovely Australian girl directed me back, and invited me out for drinks tonight! yay for friends!

So thing's are looking up, I'm very nervous about this job situation though, stupid recession...

perhaps, perhaps, perhaps..

So you all lose, I made it to Ireland in one piece, barely.

The day has been interesting, On the tourist persepective I would just say that this place is fantastic, everything I could want in a city. No one stop for everything bullshit. But on the more emotional perspective, I am left with this question circling around my head in never ending circles:

Can a person change?

I mean, it's harder to change in front of people you know, because they well, already know you, and expect a certain way. But moving to a country where you know no one, you could hypothetically get away with it. For me though, I don't particularly want to change. I like myself, and the way I get along with people, that is when I know them, even for a minute. The thing I don't like about myself is my fear of doing thing's by myself, even simple thing's like going to the gym, or striking up a conversation with a stranger. And it's not that I don't want too, I would love love love someone to approach me. Going to Ireland by myself was kind of a challenge I purposely put on myself to get me out of this way, and to be completely honest, I am failing at the challenge. I mean, I came, so I guess that's a start. And I am aware of it, but I can't get myself out of it. And as much as I would to run crying home to my friends right now, I will not, I will not let this one day (that was run on about 5 hours sleep in the past 48) define this for me, I will take advantage of the city, I will start a life, I will find great friends. (Not as great as the one's I've already got though : )) However, I am pretty emo, so I'll leave you with this... (ps words of encouragement would be greaaaat right now haha)

In a city with hundreds of people passing you by the minute, I've never felt so alone.

new jersey sucks.

Well look at me blogging and shit. Isn't this cute! Not much else to do In New Jersey airport : ( I half want to leave and go shopping, but then I'll probably miss my flight, who bet on me not getting out of the states anyways? I'm surprised I've made it this far, Air Canada people are actually so mean : ( haha. Leaving this morning was really hard, it actually didn't hit me until I was driving to the airport, followed by crying times with mom, with just me crying. (THANKS MA) oh and randomly seeing roger at the airport, so gettng a roger good-bye hug definietly helped, haha. But now travelling along the world is getting me excited and I'm not so much crying anymore, which is always good.... anywaysss... sentimental st. john's times now!

So 3 monthes later I am leaving, more or less in the exact same financial situation I found myself coming home with, go Lora for saving money. When I first got back to St. John’s I was in a really dark place, Fort McMurray had definitely made a huge negative impact on my life. I felt very alone even though I was suppose to be home, but with help from some great friends, I can say I definitely felt good about my life in St. John’s when I left, and dispite my reasoning for my extended stay in St. John’s going to complete shit, I’m glad I did. So here’s a speial shout out to some of the people who made it worth it for me:

- Joey Miller, dispite failing miserably at staying in contact, as soon we reunited it was as if no time had passed. Holla at you for always hanging out with me.

- The Merrymeeting girls and extended crowd for welcoming my completely overwanted stay, I spent a lot of time in that house and I think all of you are absolutely fabulous, I was really glad we got that time to become closer friends.

- Melissa Foley for being the love of my fucking life! As soon as I met this girl I knew she was gold. You rock for motivating me to go to the gym, and just got being a good friend

- Not that teletech was beneficial to me but I did meet some pretty right on people there. Roger, Chris, Laurie, Travis, Matt, Jared, pretty much everyone was very right on, besides the trainers. Someone I’m especially glad that I met is Chris Carter – Who gets his own shout out, cause you are a fucking awesome person, and I hope that we continue to hang out when I return home, cause I love your company!

- Dave for pretty much being my only friend in December, haha. And for all the late night chats… and tking care fo me while I died with Stephenville flu… haha come visit : )

- The corwd at Darryls for fun drunk times, and a great new years even though I was dying. Exspecially Ryan and Jake, I loved spending time with you guys : )

- Anyone I met on the west coast because I love it there, haha.

- Kat and Shane for being the best ever! I was so happy when you guys were at the aiport!  I can’t wait for you guys to come to Europe for some crazy adventures!

- Richard Lake, even though we got divorced I still loves you, and I’d imagine I always will, INDIA BABY

- My parents for letting me fucking live of them for 3 monthes! Haha, and for just being fantastic

- My kitty, cause I’m gonna miss her a ridiculous amount

I'm sure there's a few more too, I'm running on very minimal sleep so don't be hatin'! Those are the main points that stick out in my head anyways. I hope that this adventure is good for me…. Right now I have no idea what to think… All I know is after Toronto this plane goes to Fort McMurray and just knowing that I’m getting off before that puts the biggest smile on my face! Guess we’ll just have to see! I miss you all so much though already, MUCH LOVE!!!!!! xoxoxx